雅思5.5分 剑桥6 Test2 作文 范文

雅思5.5分 剑桥6 Test2 作文 范文

学生原文：

The table illustrates the information about the changes of the average distance in miles everyone in England over 75years.

The largest data found in table is the average distance of local bus in 2000, which was 4806. It means that the average distance of local

Experienced a drastically upward by 707 miles. On the other hand, the average distance of taxi ranked last 1985 and 2000, but in increased from 13 miles in 1985 to 42 miles in 2000.

The average distance of walking and bicycle showed a slight decline, dropping modestly of 12 miles and 10miles respectively. In the contrast, there is a noticeable leap found in local bus, and the average distance in 2000 is 155 miles less than the average distance in 1985. On the other hand, the average distance of per person in long distance bus increased from 54miles in 1985 to 124miles in 2000. Lastly, the over 15 years witnessed a moderate increase both distance of train and other travel moods by 57miles and 135miles respectively.

Overall, in this kinds of transport term, average distance travel per person per years in 2000 is more 1735miles than that in 1985.

老师批改及评语：

▪ 批改By Will

本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。

总评 5.5 （TA5.0 CC5.0 LR6.0 GRA5.5）

1. 语法错误稍多了一些，语序错误以及用词错误偏多，请注意。

2. 内容上基本充分，句型和词汇变化良好。

3. 这张表格，你可以先采取排序的手法，把1985年写完，然后以此为基础写2000哪些增长了，哪些减少了。

E.g.

In 1985, it is obvious that XXX ranked first, followed by YYY. ZZZ and OOO accounted for another... . Lying at the bottom of the list are MMM and NNN, accounting for ... and ... Respectively.

As for the figures in 2000, 后面再说谁增加谁减少。

1. 学习建议：

▪ 在剩余的备考时间内，你可以练习之前，总结之前写过的语法错误，并注意。

▪ 小作文图注意一些成列数据的排序的描写。如果年份很少就不要写增长减少了。像这篇先写每个年份的排序更好。