At school

http://www.laughlab.co.uk/

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

http://www.jokesgalore.com/They-got-stopped-by-police.html

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, \"I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away.\"

Just then Jessica said, \"I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed.\"

So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, \"Sir your license has expired.\" And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.

Jessica said, \"I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired.\"

Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, \"Jessica, shut your mouth!\"

The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. \"Does your husband always talk to you like that?\"

Jessica replied, \"only when he's drunk.\"

http://www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/education/tears-and-excitement-on-first-day-at-school

Maria Chleo Julienne Magsambol cried on her first day at Pisco Private School yesterday. Dressed in her school uniform, the five-year-old pupil proudly held her new violet Hannah Montana schoolbag and lunch box and sat with her 26 classmates on colourful chairs.

But the big day also brought tears.

Her father, Samuel, 35, said Chleo was overwhelmed with her first day at school. She cried in the classroom while the children waited for their teacher, Ava Yana, to arrive.

“She was actually excited to go to school for the first time,” Mr Magsambol said, while waving at his daughter from outside the classroom door. “She knows how to count from one to 20, can write from A to Z and colour.”

Her classmate Johanson Cabello, five and a half years old, had also cried and fussed. The teacher allowed him to leave the classroom for a few minutes. “He‟s looking for his mummy,” said the nanny Lourna Saludes.

“They‟re very good children and a lot better than last year,” said Ms Yana, who has been teaching Kindergarten Year 1 pupils since Pisco opened in Abu Dhabi in 1995. “Most were crying last year.”

Yesterday, she left the classroom door open, allowing parents to check on their children from outside.

“For the first week, parents are allowed inside the campus and stay outside the door so their children can see them,” she said. “We understand that this is the children‟s first exposure to the outside world and they‟ll cling to their parents.”

She expects the crying to stop within two or three days as the children get used to not having their parents around; in the meantime, she will keep them busy.

“I‟ve made friends,” declared Christine Jaycel Madlambayan, four.

“I‟m glad that she‟s in a Filipino school,” said the girl‟s father, Jaydee, 31. “We know that she‟ll keep our traits, culture and traditions even though we‟re far away from our country.”

Ms Yana said the first day of school was more a “getting to know you” and “settling in” stage.

Today there will be storytelling and colouring exercises.

The school‟s 529 pupils - both those attending school for the first time and those returning from previous years - were welcomed yesterday by Pisco‟s principal, Rosemarie Natividad. “It‟s tiresome but enjoyable at the same time,” she said.

http://www.chchearing.org/stories/my-child-excelling-school

When a friend suggested that I take Zoe, age 20 months, to the Center for Hearing and Communication after suspecting that this adorable baby I had adopted in China was deaf, I never looked back. With the guidance of CHC and its comprehensive services, Zoe was quickly on her way to learning how to listen and speak.

She received group and individual therapy, and I received the same, but with other parents of children with hearing loss. The support provided by CHC allowed Zoe and I to weather the difficult times when progress was so slow and I would wonder if Zoe would ever make it in the mainstream. When it became apparent that Zoe, after getting a cochlear implant was not progressing as expected, a new type of therapy was initiated and the speech began to come.

I enrolled Zoe in a mainstream preschool after receiving much guidance from CHC counselors about the school system and the steps we needed to take to make sure Zoe‟s needs would be met. Just three years later Zoe entered a top New York City private school where she has flourished ever since! She plays the piano, has a diverse group of friends, travels to foreign countries, excels on her school‟s sports teams, takes AP classes and is on the honor role in high school every semester.

Rarely a day goes by that I don‟t look at Zoe and something she has accomplished and honestly wonder how it would have happened had I not found CHC when I did. The 10 years that she received therapy there and I received the invaluable advice and support of the fabulous staff has allowed me to encourage Zoe in all of her endeavors. Both she and I truly know that she can be whatever she wants to be and do whatever she wants to do because of the strong foundation given to her by the Center for Hearing and Communication.

http://www.catay.com/fatkid/other.asp

My memories of being a fat kid were both good and bad. I have a few good memories but a lot were bad too. As a fat boy, you have to buy “husky” pants and kids used to tease me with that name. I‟ve been called all the fat names in the book and some that aren‟t I‟m sure. All in all it makes you lose any self esteem or self confidence. And when you‟re a kid, you don‟t know any better, you keep eating because it‟s the only thing that makes you feel good. I‟d have my parents look at a grossly obese person and say “see you better lose weight before you become like them.” And I know they meant well and that they were right but it‟s such a pressure on you. The boys in my classes at elementary school used to call me “fatty” and pick on me for no reason. I usually would spend my time on the playground by myself or in a group of other “outcasts.” And I can‟t tell you how often I‟d hear “you‟d be so handsome and look so good if only you‟d lose about 50 pounds.” And again all it did was make me eat more to, drown my sorrow with food. In high school, I more or less kept to myself at first. My grades suffered, I was depressed and I just ate and ate and ate. Finally, I enrolled in the “slow” class and learned how to work smarter when it came to school and my grades improved. I still wasn‟t socially “accepted” but I was now known as the “smart” fat kid. I never went to dances or school functions, never went to homecoming or prom. I just couldn‟t ask anybody out, nor did I want to dress up a body that wasn‟t “normal.”

Now, I‟m still heavy but I find myself acting as a guardian to my nieces and nephew, making sure they don‟t end up being the fat kid and going through the same things I did. The pressures of being a kid are tough, the taunts are endless; but being a fat kid is like going through it twice.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2011-09/13/content_13670020.htm Campaign to help disabled become teachers

A letter urging the authorities to eliminate discrimination preventing disabled people becoming teachers was submitted to the Ministry of Education on Friday, the day before the country‟s 27th annual celebration for teachers.

“I always dreamed of being a teacher, but the current rules in many provinces have shut the door on the career,” said Yang Renliang, one of the initiators of the campaign.

The 24-year-old student graduated from Guizhou University last year with a bachelor degree in English, but was refused a teaching position by many schools because of his vision impairment.

Wang Jiang, a high school substitute teacher from the Inner Mongolia autonomous region, said he has suffered discrimination throughout his career for more than ten years because of physical disabilities caused by infantile paralysis.

“I have less chances than my peers to win professional titles or to get promotion. And even though I have worked hard for years, I still have no official employment letter,” said Wang, one of 588 disabled people who made the appeal.

Wang said when he first became a teacher in 1996 there were few obstacles to candidates with physical disabilities. But things changed after the Ministry of Education implemented a new regulation in 2000 allowing local authorities to establish rules for teachers‟ qualifications based on a person‟s physical condition.

According to research conducted by Yang Renliang and his supporters, more than 20 provinces or municipalities, including Beijing, Anhui and Fujian, have similar regulations concerning physical appearance, sight, hearing and mental health that discriminate against people with disabilities.

Huang Zhen, a law professor at Central University of Finance and Economics, said some local education authorities or institutions might be breaking, or at least going against the spirit of, the Law on the Protection of Disabled Persons.

“Teaching requires mental ability and devotion. Although some people might be physically challenged, they can still be good teachers,” Huang said.

“Some of them may even have an edge because they are usually caring for others and have a passion for the career.”

Discrimination against people with HIV and AIDS is another issue pointed out in the letter. In the past two years, China has seen three legal cases that involved discrimination in employment, all related to the recruitment of teachers.

The letter said that the country should set up a national standard for teachers‟ qualifications that conforms to the current laws guaranteeing the rights of disabled people.

The campaign‟s initiators have received much support from the public, but they are still waiting for an official response from the ministry, a source close to them said.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/xinhua/2011-09-13/content_3767865.html

The green dream of a marathon runner

Taiyuan International Marathon, held in the marathon‟s namesake city in north China‟s Shanxi Province earlier this month, featured a most unusual competitor.

Wearing a homemade outfit composed entirely of bright green leaves, a man named Chen Jun hit the ground running at 8 a.m., along with 12,000 other competitors. His white headband bore his nickname “bald man in green leaves” on the front and text reading “low-carbon” on the back, neatly summarizing both his appearance and his mission.

The dark green flag he waved while running declared that the marathon was the 136th stop on Chen‟s “global marathon tour” for promoting low-carbon living. He finished the marathon three hours and four minutes after a gunshot signaled the start of the race.

Chen is a 27-year-old wine salesman from the city of Xi‟an in central China‟s Shaanxi Province.

“I want everyone to think of green living, environmental protection and low-carbon lifestyles when they see me. I chose this special costume to attract more attention,” Chen said.

Chen was inspired to promote low-carbon living in April 2007, when he trained with other athletes to climb Mount Qomolangma for the 2008 Beijing Olympics torch relay. After making it to a height of 5,800 meters, China Mountain Climbing Team coach Luo Sheng said to Chen, “ten years ago, this area of the mountain was covered with snow and ice. But now, it has all melted.”

“I was deeply touched by what Luo said and began to think about what I could to encourage people to adopt environmentally friendly lifestyles,” Chen said.

“I have been passionate about running since I was a kid, so I chose marathons as a platform for advocating green lifestyles,” Chen said.

Not content to simply promote environmentally friendly living, Chen also added a charitable component to his campaign. “Many people have supported my studies and hobbies since I was in primary school, so I hope I can return their kindness in my own way,” he said.

Chen raises money by searching for sponsors for his marathon campaign. He said that he plans to use the money to help athletic children realize their dreams of becoming star athletes.

The first stop on Chen‟s “global marathon tour” was at last October‟s Beijing International Marathon. He began showing up in his green-leaf costume after the third stop on his tour.

Chen has ran marathons in more than 10 Chinese provinces over the last 10 months, running over 5,000 km in the process.

“Although I have found health, happiness and friendship for myself during my campaign, the thing that has impressed me most has been seeing other people change around me,” Chen said, adding that many of his friends have been inspired to run as the result of his campaign.

“During a race last October, a woman working for a utility company told me that she was deeply impressed by my „green‟ image and declared that she would pay more attention to how much electricity she uses in the future,” he said.

Chen has covered a vast amount of territory and impressed many people during his campaign so far, but he doesn‟t have any plans to quit while he‟s ahead. “I sometimes see people in their 70s or 80s running in the marathons. I think I ought to keep running until I reach old age as well, and hopefully influence more people in my own way. That will make my life truly worthwhile,” he said.